Previously: “Jessie Mack.”
Don’t get me wrong — I’m all for buying used whenever possible, especially when it comes to vehicles. But the creepypasta “Hazards In Buying A Used Car” makes a convincing argument for being a little more discerning with your purchases, if you can afford to be. Not that you have to buy new, of course — but if you’re going to buy used? Well, let’s just say that it might behoove you to vet the item in question thoroughly. And maybe its seller, too.
“Hazards In Buying A Used Car” is quite old, by creepypasta standards: The oldest versions of it I’ve found date back to the tail end of December 2009, where it’s credited to Tekkactus. Tekkactus is actually Jeff Gum, who is mostly a game designer these days (he’s best known for the card game The Menace Among Us), although he also wrote and drew the webcomic Sandgate once upon a time and penned the occasional creepypasta. The pastas can still be found scattered across the web today, but you can also find them all in one place, if you’re curious: Gum uploaded them, including “Hazards,” to a Tumblr pegged to Sandgate in the early 2010s.
[Like what you read? Check out Dangerous Games To Play In The Dark, available from Chronicle Books now!]
He’s got quite the archive, and if “Hazards In Buying A Used Car” is anything to go by, it’s worth spending some time with. There’s something about taking a mundane activity and making it a bit more… dangerous than we normally think of them being that’s perfectly suited for creepypasta as a genre, no?
A 1998 powder-blue Ford Taurus isn’t anyone’s choice for a vehicle, but it was what I ended up choosing at the lot. It wasn’t a bad car; not too many miles, recently replaced tires, and it was cheap. My only real complaint is that the previous owner had seriously gone overboard with air fresheners; the whole interior reeked of vanilla and pine. The dealer, real nice guy, said he was cutting me a deal. Told me that they were having trouble moving this one off the lot, explained that no one seemed to be interested. I guess I’m less picky than average, because the car looked fine to me, so a check and a handshake later I was driving home.
That’s when the strangeness started.
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[Photo via PublicDomainPictures/Pixabay]