The Most Dangerous Games: The Knockertell

Previously: Frequently Asked Questions, Vol. II.

The Knockertell is similar to The Raven Man in that it allows you to ask anything of the mysterious creature you’ve summoned — if, that is, you’ve summoned it correctly. I’ll be honest: Summoning it correctly might be a little difficult, as the ritual’s instructions are a little… puzzling.

For one thing, there’s this somewhat bizarre contradiction: One of the items needed to complete the ritual is a door with a knocker, which typically are only fond on front doors with the knocker outside; however, the instructions also stipulate that the ritual should be completed in a dark room. It seems that, in order to create the correct environment, you’ll have to affix a knocker to the outside of the door to whatever room in which you choose to do the ritual. I suppose you could attempt to use the area directly in front of your front door as the “dark room,” but I’m not totally sure whether or not it will work.

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Other oddities include the fact that you’ll need sand specifically gathered from a desert, which you can probably get on eBay; additionally, the ritual can only be completed on the night of a lunar eclipse during Spring, so you’ll need to wait for a pretty substantial amount of time before you can give it shot. There’s also just a general lack of clarity in the instructions that might make attempting it riskier than it might at first appear. I’ve attempted to clear up what I can, but as always… and perhaps more than usual…

…Play at your own risk.

Players:

• One principal.

Requirements:

• Three red candles. They should be able to stand up on their own; tapers in three candleholders will work, as will tea lights or pillar candles.
• A lighter or matches.
• Desert sand.
• A burlap bag.
• A door with a knocker.
• A dark, quiet room.
• A question.

Instructions:

1. Prepare the room: Pull the curtains, making sure no light shows from outside; turn out the lights; affix the knocker to the exterior of your door, if necessary; and clear the room of all other people.
2. Begin the ritual at the moment of a lunar eclipse during the season of Spring.
3. Arrange the candles in a triangle formation inside the room and light each one.
4. Create a circle around yourself with the sand and sit inside it. Place the burlap bag over your head.
5. Begin chanting the phrase: “Te nunc esse scientiam.” (See note below.)
6. Continue chanting until you hear a knocking on the walls of the room. Cease chanting as soon as the knocking begins.
   • If you do not hear a knocking, do not proceed. The Knockertell does not wish to appear, and there is no forcing the Knockertell to do what it does not want to do. Blow out the candles, clear up the sand, and leave the room. The safest course of action would also be to leave your home until six o’clock in the morning.
7. After you cease chanting, you should hear the knocker sound outside the door. Welcome the Knockertell into the room.
8. Ask your question. You may only ask one question, so make it count.
9. After the Knockertell answers your question, thank it and wait for it to leave. Once it has left, blow out the candles and clear up the sand.
10. If the Knockertell refuses to leave…

…You’re on your own.

A Note About the Chant:

I find it to be somewhat suspect. My Latin is a little rusty, but even so, I’m not entirely sure it’s accurate. The idea seems to be to call forth the Knockertell to bestow knowledge upon you, but it seems to me that you’d want to use the formal form of “you” as a sign of respect, rather than the informal one. Also, the original instructions used “scientism” instead of “scientiam,” which I assume is a typo. Lastly, there doesn’t seem to be anything to support the Knockertell being a Roman creation; maybe we’re looking at Church Latin? I’m not sure. Whatever the case, though, note that the ritual is contingent on this chant being accurate — but I’m not convinced the chant included in the original instructions actually is accurate. As such, you may want to proceed with caution.

Additional Notes:

Don’t be rude to the Knockertell. It doesn’t take kindly to rudeness.

Concerning Your Question:

Before you ask it… make sure you really want to know the answer. Once the Knockertell has spoken, there’s no way to unlearn what it has told you.

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