The Ghost In My Machine

Stories of the Strange and Unusual

The Most Dangerous Games: Ritual da Televisao, Or The Television Ritual

by

Previously: Tsuji-ura, Or The Fortune Game. 

I was unable to find any versions of Ritual da Televisão, or the Television Ritual, in written English; as the title might suggest, the versions of it that exist on the internet — or at least, the ones that I was able to find — are all in Portuguese. This is interesting to me because one of the few English language sources on the game I could locate — a video by YouTuber ImJayStation (many thanks to the reader who pointed me in this direction!) — notes in the description that the origins of the ritual are Spanish. Clearly that’s not so; my guess is that it comes from Brazil, which might explain the confusion. (In the majority of South American countries, Spanish is the official language; however, in Brazil, it’s Portuguese — the only country on the continent where that’s the case. And for the curious, yes, I also searched for versions of the game under the title “El Ritual de la Televisión” — what its name would be in Spanish — and still came up short.)

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In any event, the point of the Television Ritual seems to be to figure out how much time you’ve actually got on Earth before you can expect to meet your demise. There’s also an element of redemption; the implication seems to be that, once you know your date of death, you also know how much time you have to turn your life around and live a good and just existence. There’s a heavy Christian flavor to the whole thing in most versions, although I don’t see any reason why it couldn’t be adapted to whatever your own belief system is. (On that note, I’ve tried to keep it secular here — think of it as a sort of template onto which you can overlay any of your own personal beliefs, whether they’re religious, spiritual, or simply moral or ethical.)

As always, play at your own risk.

Players:

  • One principal.

Requirements:

  • One television.
  • A power source.
  • A time-keeping device (optional).

Instructions:

The Prelude:

  1. Begin at night.
  2. Clear your home of all other living creatures.
  3. Turn off all the lights in your home.
  4. Make sure the television is plugged in, then turn it on.
  5. Tune the television to a channel that receives nothing but static. If the television is of a newer model and does not display static, tune it to the “blue screen,” or to any other channel that does not receive a signal.
  6. Turn the volume up as loud as you can bear. Then turn it up louder.
  7. Repeat the following phrase aloud three times: “I ask all those who roam the world, manifest!”
  8. Be silent.
  9. Wait.
    • If the television turns off or powers down: DO NOT PROCCEED. Leave the premises immediately. Do not return until the sun has fully risen. See also: If Anything Should Go Wrong.
    • If the television remains on: You may proceed.
  10. You may begin to hear hissing, whispers, or murmurs hidden deeply within the static. Do not be alarmed. Remain where you are. Do not leave.
  11. You may begin to feel slightly unwell. Do not be alarmed. Remain where you are. Do not leave.
  12. Speak the following phrase aloud once, and only once.: “I seek the one who guards the way. Please manifest!”
  13. Begin to pray. You may direct your prayer to whatever deity, being, concept, or principle in which you believe. Should unusual sounds issue forth from or images appear on the television, do not allow them to distract you from your prayer.
  14. Once you have completed your prayer, wait six minutes.
    • If the television screen does anything other than turn completely white: The ritual has failed. DO NOT PROCEED. Close your eyes. Pray or sing as loudly as you can. Whatever you may hear, do not open your eyes. Continuing praying or singing. Use your voice to drown out the sounds coming from the television — or, at least, the sounds which seem to come from the television. Pray or sing until the sounds diminish and disappear. See: If Anything Should Go Wrong.
    • If the television screen turns white: The ritual has succeeded. You may proceed.

The Main Event:

  1. You may begin to hear a voice speaking from the television speakers. Listen closely. Repeat its words back to it as completely and accurately as possible. Repeat them as many times as necessary.
  2. While completing The Main Event: Step 1, watch the television screen. If a series of numbers appears, take note of what they are. Do not forget them. Burn them into your memory, for they represent the date of your death.
  3. At this point, you may experience a sequence of visions. You may see images of those who have lived good and just lives. You may see humanity’s past, or you may see its future. You may learn certain truths — truths which reveal perhaps more than you might want to know, but which also reveal all that is necessary for you to know.
  4. If your eyelids begin to grow heavy, let them.
  5. If you struggle to remain awake, don’t fight it.
  6. Let yourself rest.
  7. Let yourself sleep.

Waking Up:

  1. Wake up whenever you wake up.
    • If the television is still on: All is not well. See also: If Anything Should Go Wrong.
    • If the television is off: All is well. Embrace the inner peace that you feel, and proceed with the rest your life. You will enjoy great fortune from here on out — but do not lose sight of the date revealed to you on the television screen. Your clock is counting down. Should you reach the end without having made the necessary adjustments to live a good and just life, whatever may or may not come for you after death will be… unpleasant.

Additional Notes:

  • Concerning the day of the attempt: An odd-numbered calendar day is recommended. If there has been rain or other precipitation on that day, do not proceed. Choose another day.
  • Concerning the model of television: A non-flat screen, cathode ray tube model is recommended.
  • Concerning the time of commencement: Midnight is recommended.
  • Concerning the channel to which the television is tuned: An odd-numbered channel is recommended.

If Anything Should Go Wrong:

Destroy the television.

Destroy it completely.

The Television Ritual: FAQ.

***

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[Photo via tebielyc/Pixabay]

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Can you write down the numbers that you see or are you forced to just remember them? What happens if you forget the numbers?

    Reply

    • I might sing a song that holds a lot of value to you, recite a meaningful poem, or repeat a mantra. I’d recommend the singing most strongly, though, since it’s suggested later in the ritual. Of course, I have no idea what I’m talking about. Take it with a grain of salt.

      Reply

    • If you don’t have a religion, pray to any higher power (God, Allah, etc.) At the very least,you have options.

      Reply

    • Well, prayer is just acknowledging your hopes and doubts in a way, just usually to another higher power, so maybe just reflect on hopes and doubts and things like that.

      Reply

  5. If something goes wrong and I need to destroy the television, can I stay in my home after that or should I leave? If I must leave, is it safe to come back even after the sun has fully risen?

    Reply

    • It’s probably safer to leave, Emmicorn. It should be safe to return after 24-48 hours, but you will want to do a cleansing/banishing/exorcism ASAP. Who knows what entities may be there?

      Reply

    • I honestly don’t recommend staying in your home after destroying the television. After destroying the TV, I recommend throwing it out (or burning it, or throwing it in the ocean (for funzies) that you should leave the premises for at least 24 hrs. And then perform a cleansing/banishing ritual.

      Reply

    • If someone has a TV to throw, ask them to bring it to me; if something goes wrong I will bash the whole TV

      Reply

      • Thanks, man. But I’d rather smash it with a sledgehammer, tie the remains to a stake, and burn it. It’ll be more fun that way in my opinion. 😉

        Reply

    • Umm you would probably need to keep a thing to destroy it there (or punch/kick it) then quickly RUN out of whatever place you are doing it in. Maybe don’t do this at home?

      Reply

    • I don’t have Instagram (sorry!) — just Twitter and Facebook. Links to those accounts are in the sidebar under “Follow.”

      Reply

  7. Lucia, when doing this ritual, is it safe to play with friends? I may want to try this in the near future, but whenever I do these “games”(normally one man hide & seek, Oujia board, Concentrate,etc.), me & my friends play together, so we can call for help or tell an entity to back off & not hurt us, or there would be consequences. So would it be safe???

    Reply

  9. I asked my Brazilian friend to just fact check for me, linking him to this article. Here’s what he said:
    This isn’t actually a thing, from a quick search
    No one I know of ever did or knew of this back when we were younger
    A quick search only yields creepy pastas dating earliest to 2013
    My best bet is it’s just a “recent” horror story
    If it /is/ a thing it’s definitely not one in the three regions out of five I lived in for 20 years
    And it apparently got popular (videos trying it out and stuff) around december 2016
    As for the steps, seems all is the same across everything

    Reply

  11. I just love how this stuff mostly only works on old TVs… seems like LG and Siemens have priests working for them to avoid for their TVs to get cursed XD

    Reply

  12. What do they mean by “clear your home of all other living creatures”? On average there are about 100 different insects or animals living in your home, so it’d be almost impossible to clear all of them. What would happen if you missed some of them?

    Reply

  14. So at some point you hear a voice coming from the television and you have to repeat them as accurately as possible. It is not as if I don’t understand the instruction itself, but I don’t understand the purpose of it. Is there anyone who does.

    Reply

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