Previously: Tsuji-ura, Or The Fortune Game.
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I was unable to find any versions of Ritual da Televisão, or the Television Ritual, in written English; as the title might suggest, the versions of it that exist on the internet — or at least, the ones that I was able to find — are all in Portuguese. Furthermore, they’re all on website based in Brazil, rather than Portugal — so to me, it’s pretty clear that the game originates in Brazil. ( The official language of Brazil is Portuguese.)
The point of the Television Ritual seems to be to figure out how much time you’ve actually got on Earth before you can expect to meet your demise. There’s also an element of redemption; the implication seems to be that, once you know your date of death, you also know how much time you have to turn your life around and live a good and just existence. There’s a heavy Christian flavor to the whole thing in most versions, although I don’t see any reason why it couldn’t be adapted to whatever your own belief system is. (On that note, I’ve tried to keep it secular here — think of it as a sort of template onto which you can overlay any of your own personal beliefs, whether they’re religious, spiritual, or simply moral or ethical.)
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As always, play at your own risk.
- One principal.
- One television.
- A power source.
- A time-keeping device (optional).
- Begin at night.
- Clear your home of all other living creatures.
- Turn off all the lights in your home.
- Make sure the television is plugged in, then turn it on.
- Tune the television to a channel that receives nothing but static. If the television is of a newer model and does not display static, tune it to the “blue screen,” or to any other channel that does not receive a signal.
- Turn the volume up as loud as you can bear. Then turn it up louder.
- Repeat the following phrase aloud three times: “I ask all those who roam the world, manifest!”
- Be silent.
- If the television turns off or powers down: DO NOT PROCCEED. Leave the premises immediately. Do not return until the sun has fully risen. See also: If Anything Should Go Wrong.
- If the television remains on: You may proceed.
- You may begin to hear hissing, whispers, or murmurs hidden deeply within the static. Do not be alarmed. Remain where you are. Do not leave.
- You may begin to feel slightly unwell. Do not be alarmed. Remain where you are. Do not leave.
- Speak the following phrase aloud once, and only once.: “I seek the one who guards the way. Please manifest!”
- Begin to pray. You may direct your prayer to whatever deity, being, concept, or principle in which you believe. Should unusual sounds issue forth from or images appear on the television, do not allow them to distract you from your prayer.
- Once you have completed your prayer, wait six minutes.
- If the television screen does anything other than turn completely white: The ritual has failed. DO NOT PROCEED. Close your eyes. Pray or sing as loudly as you can. Whatever you may hear, do not open your eyes. Continuing praying or singing. Use your voice to drown out the sounds coming from the television — or, at least, the sounds which seem to come from the television. Pray or sing until the sounds diminish and disappear. See: If Anything Should Go Wrong.
- If the television screen turns white: The ritual has succeeded. You may proceed.
The Main Event:
- You may begin to hear a voice speaking from the television speakers. Listen closely. Repeat its words back to it as completely and accurately as possible. Repeat them as many times as necessary.
- While completing The Main Event: Step 1, watch the television screen. If a series of numbers appears, take note of what they are. Do not forget them. Burn them into your memory, for they represent the date of your death.
- At this point, you may experience a sequence of visions. You may see images of those who have lived good and just lives. You may see humanity’s past, or you may see its future. You may learn certain truths — truths which reveal perhaps more than you might want to know, but which also reveal all that is necessary for you to know.
- If your eyelids begin to grow heavy, let them.
- If you struggle to remain awake, don’t fight it.
- Let yourself rest.
- Let yourself sleep.
- Wake up whenever you wake up.
- If the television is still on: All is not well. See also: If Anything Should Go Wrong.
- If the television is off: All is well. Embrace the inner peace that you feel, and proceed with the rest your life. You will enjoy great fortune from here on out — but do not lose sight of the date revealed to you on the television screen. Your clock is counting down. Should you reach the end without having made the necessary adjustments to live a good and just life, whatever may or may not come for you after death will be… unpleasant.
Concerning the day of the attempt: An odd-numbered calendar day is recommended. If there has been rain or other precipitation on that day, do not proceed. Choose another day.
Concerning the model of television: A non-flat screen, cathode ray tube model is recommended.
Concerning the time of commencement: Midnight is recommended.
Concerning the channel to which the television is tuned: An odd-numbered channel is recommended.
If Anything Should Go Wrong:
Destroy the television.
Destroy it completely.
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[Photo via tebielyc/Pixabay]