I’m not totally sure why the Daily Mail has started featuring bad Photoshopping ghostly occurrences in their general news vertical; if it were Halloween, maybe it would make sense, but it’s not. It’s April. So: Why? No idea. Sensationalism, probably; after all, the Mail isn’t exactly a bastion of journalistic integrity.
However, in spite of everything they’ve got going against them—lack of seasonal appropriateness, any sort of believability, and so on—they certainly are something… and that “something” is “absolutely hilarious.” Anyone who misses the “JESUS CHRIST SPOTTED IN BAKERY MUFFIN! ‘I can’t believe I almost ate our Lord and Savior’s face!’ says devout breakfast eater” days of the National Enquirer will probably get a kick out of them. So, in no particular order, here are a few of the glorious little tidbits to which the Daily Mail has recently treated us:
1. Man Demands Realtor Take Back Haunted Mansion After Discovering Gruesome Murder Took Place There:
A Texas businessman by the name of Nir Golan has kicked up a lot of fuss with his realtor after he discovered that a property he had rented in Seabrook was on the site of a place locals call “Murder Mansion.” A little digging revealed that the land once hosted a mansion built by Texas millionaire Bill List in 1984; List allegedly would pick up homeless teenage boys and give them a home in exchange for sexual favors. Eventually the kids struck back at their abuser, shooting him dead. The home was torn down and the property subdivided; one of the subdivisions now holds the house the Golan leased.
And this, my friends, is why you always do a little extra research when a deal looks too good to be true.
Golan was furious when he discovered that his realtor had failed to mention the property’s sordid past; he doesn’t care that the mansion where the murder itself happened has been torn down, saying that the property self is still tainted and possibly haunted. He’s trying to break the lease without a penalty, saying, “If you paid me money, I would not move there. It’s against my religion. You cannot force me to move there.”
Well, no; no one can force you to move into a house if you don’t want to. What you can be forced to do is pay a fee for breaking the contract you signed, which is exactly what’s happening here. The homeowner agreed to terminate the lease, but won’t return the security deposit. This situation is exactly what security deposits are for, so to be honest, I don’t really think Golan has a leg to stand on here. A law professor sourced by local news site KHOU, Gerald Treece of the South Texas College of Law, agrees, noting that in Texas (unlike a lot of states), realtors aren’t required by law disclose the past of a property like this. Treece continued on the issue of religion, “There is no duty of the seller to be a mind reader and guess the religious objections a renter could have.” Zing!
2. Family Posing for Pictures in Museum Shocked to Discover Ghostly Image of Girl in Victorian Clothing:
Spoiler alert: The best part about this one is the incredibly poor Photoshop job.
A couple from West Yorkshire met with quite a shock when they began flipping through old photographs taken during a family trip to the York Castle Museum two years ago. In examining the images, John Burnside and Shona Backhouse found what they believe to be the ghost of a small girl wearing Victorian clothing dogging their every move.
The museum itself is rumored to be haunted; a historic place, it stands on the site of the original York Castle, which was built by William the Conqueror in 1068. The museum was founded in 1938 by Dr. John L. Kirk and is housed in the former Debtor’s Prison and Female Prison buildings that wet up when the castle came down.
This is one of the pictures the Burnside-Backhouse family snapped:
Given that the photos were allegedly taken on John Burnside’s phone, it’s anyone’s guess why they’re credited here to “Ben Lack Photography Ltd.”
3. Football Spectators Spooked by Ghost Which Appears to Run Through Fans During Match in Bolivia:
A ghostly figure was captured on camera zipping through the crowd during a football match in Bolivia on Thursday, April 17. Not the first time an unexplained phenomenon has been spotted at a South American stadium, this particular specter is believed by some to be the ghost of President Hugo Chavez.
Look! This one has a video!
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HE0yGBtWTOI]
Ol’ Hugo is pretty speedy for a non-corporeal being, isn’t he?
4. Russian Ghost Car Appears Out of Nowhere at Busy Intersection:
Here’s another one with a video for you: Footage shot in Russia has fooled thousands into thinking a ghost car magically appeared at a busy intersection, shooting out in front of the driver of a BMW and stunning passengers. Me? I think it’s just some tricky sightlines. Here, give it a watch for yourself:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeoaQX0BA10]
And that’s why you always check your blind spot.
In conclusion: Sorry, Daily Mail. You’ll have to try harder than that.
***
Support The Ghost In My Machine on Patreon for behind-the-scenes access and bonus content. You can also follow on Twitter @GhostMachine13 and on Facebook @TheGhostInMyMachine.
Leave a Reply