Previously: “Xbox Live.”
This week, a short and clever little tale to lead us into the Halloween season: “New SPOOK Sour Bros!™,” a creepypasta written by Creepypasta Wiki user Macciata and originally published over at the aforementioned wiki in December of 2022. Like a lot of my favorite pieces of internet-based horror, this one takes the form of a thread on an online message board; it also plays off my sense of nostalgia. (Raise your hand if you, too, are old enough to have been exactly the target audience for the Capri Sun and Gushers ads mentioned in the story when they originally aired.)
The very first line, however, suggests that we’re not just reading some old forum posts, though; the posts may have been preserved as evidence… or perhaps not preserved, but rather tucked away to prevent them from reaching the wider public. You be the judge.
[Like what you read? Check out Dangerous Games To Play In The Dark, available from Chronicle Books now!]
This one made me laugh; there’s a great zinger at the end.
Find an excerpt below, and the full story here.
Documents Department Note: The following record is to be entered as-is, with errors of spelling, grammar and punctuation preserved.
Foodies! Home > Forums > The Lounge > Apropos of Nothing
Discussion: Pet Peeves?
Sous-Chef (158 posts)
Oct. 18, 9:18AM Central(US)
What are some things that bug you, but not enough to really get angry over?
I’ll start off: I hate it when people insist on pointing out the proper “scientific” definition of foods. Like if you call cashews nuts, and they’re all “Actually, they’re legumes.” Or people who always have to say something about how tomatoes and avocados are fruits and not vegetables, as though that means anything useful in the kitchen. I don’t care if it’s really a fruit to a botanist, I’m not putting tomato slices in a fruit salad, so what difference does it make?
Full disclosure — yes, you guessed it, venting about this is my real motive for creating the thread this morning. 🙂
(naturally, keep in mind the forum rules about “hot topics”)
Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy!
[3 replies omitted]
Short-Order Cook (18 posts)
Oct. 18, 3:45PM Central(US)
I don’t like ads for candy or other kid-targeted things (like capri sun) where eating it causes weird transformations — like those Airheads ads where their heads inflate into gross human-faced balloons, or the old Gushers ones where the kids turn into fruits. Capri sun had those ones where kids would drink it and melt into blobs of silver like Terminator 2. I guess it’s all supposed to be cartoony fun but with the CGI it doesn’t look cartoony, it looks horrifying.
This month there are these new ads for the Spooky Sour Bros they put out for Halloween, where the announcer does this Dracula voice and says things like “A taste so sour and sweet, you’ll howl for more!” and the kid eats the Sour Bros and turns into a werewolf, or he says “It’s Electrifying!” and he turns into a Frankenstein, etc. These ads bugs me in particular because of the style they did it in, it’s still cheap CGI but the kind of look they use is too realistic to be called cartoony. It’s still not a realistic style, like how the facial features aren’t real-world proportions and all, but the textures and details are too real to fit in with that.
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[Photo via Adalhelma/Pixabay]